E go beta

I often say I don't have any regrets in my life....and then I look closely and say 'dis one thing'.
But I believe firmly that nothing happens by chance.
It is evident in my life and in the life of others I know. And for Christians, even more so for 'all things work together for the good'...not some things but all things.

Wondering what I am on about?
I am like a pregnant woman at term and just about to deliver my baby...just when she feels she can't handle it anymore, out comes the baby.

I am certain dat e go beta.

Loud thoughts

It's saturday night and am wide awake in bed having my 'me' time.
Thots keep racing through my mind....
I smile as i recall.

Years back, a friend of mine said to me, 'women hav fish brains'. I was offended but didnt show it. I laughed out sarcastically wondering why he made such a statement because i certainly didnt think i had a fish brain.

After a few years, i think i now understand what he was trying to say back then.

Women are moved by what they hear. A man would say tell a woman what she 'wants' to hear and she is all yours.

Women have the ability to believe and trust easily.
When a woman is in love with a man, she does not listen to the voice of reasoning, and no matter what you tell her about the man, she will not leave him easily.

So she starts dating him and one day they have an arguement and he raises his voice at her. She does not take note of that. The next time, he hits the wall with his fist.
She still does not take note. The next time, he attempts to slap her, but he refrains. She stil does not get the cue....and the next arguement lands her in a hospital. He apologizes with roses and sweet words and she takes him back.....only to begin a vicious circle.

I would not say she is weak and cant fight for herself. But i say Lord may i not cross paths with a man like that.

As i ponder on this trait, i realise that Jesus was surrounded by women in His ministry who seemed to believe what He said more than the men. Mary believed the resurrection and went to the tomb of Jesus that morning. When she went to inform the disciples, it was clear that they had some doubt(john 20:8-10).

A believing heart is not equal to stupidity and naiveity. But experiences have a way of hardening the heart. As for me i would keep my believing heart, learn lessons of life from the lives of other too, love whole heartedly, laugh always(even at myself), forget the things which are behind, always smile and do good, say i love you every chance i get, remember the Lord in my youth, and live a happy life.

Most High

People always ask me why I seem to always be on some sort of high. My classmates say am hyper n have sooooooo much energy in me....a friend once asked me to give her some of the 'good stuff' I smoke every morning as soon as I get out of bed, the stuff dat seems to have a high blood/gas coefficient and potency...lmao!!
Another close friend recently said to me: 'you are the bubbliest person I have ever known'. Shocked, all I could say was 'really?? Pls say anything else but don't lie' was having a conversation with yet another friend who told me I always have a smile on my face. Am like Lord have mercy! What does the smile look like?:)
This got me thinking a bit.
See, In the twenty something years I have been existing on earth, I would never have called myself 'fun' or 'bubbly' or 'smily'...these are just words I would never have used to describe myself.

Growing up was not very fun. Living in a house with two brothers(have 3, the last wasn't even a zygote or a yolk sac at the time), I was always alone because they always used to play rough games and I didnt want as much as a scratch on my skin.
It was basically a lonely childhood. Little wonder most of my friends stare at me in disbelief when I admit I don't know how to play most of the games they all grew up playing( including the popular 'ten ten')

I was never timid..or shy, but would not consider myself a sanguine.
Always had a measure of seriousness in all that I did.

So, what happened? What happened to the loner, 'not so fun', quiet girl?

It happened 4years ago. Yes!! That was when the transformation happened...when I said a prayer to the Lord accepting Him as my Master.
Then I noticed the comments. Depression was a stranger to me. I didn't need alcohol or weed or sex to get me high.
I was on some high and still am....the God kind of high..

Smiling became so natural, laughing...an inseparable part of me...oh!!!the joy that filled my soul...words can't describe.

Nothing has changed, its been like that ever since. Some doubt its real and think I am not being exactly honest about why I am always happy....
In times of sorrow, the joy never diminishes..its a fruit of the spirit. It is here to stay:) and am loving it.

The bible says in the presence of the Lord there is fullness of joy...words can't describe.
People would do anything to be happy all the time. Comedians are making a lot of money because they make people happy and laugh for only awhile.

If you want to know the secret, you can do what I did 6years ago.....He is waiting to put that joy in your heart..the kind of joy that makes you stand out

Lonely Path

When I hear 'certain' people mention a 'lonely path', I am usually very quick to think that such a person is probably in the ministry or really just a loner:)

I have been on quite a few lonely paths, but I seem to find myself on d one called 'self discovery'...yeah, I know it sounds like
a road I should have been on a long time ago.
Let's just say I was on it and I skidded off the road, but now I find myself there again.
But why lonely? I look around and I see just a few passersby, ditches and potholes called criticism, sarcasm and mistakes....oh!the mistakes. Just when I think I have dodged all the potholes, I see road blocks of fear, doubt, cowardice, rejection and manipulation. Wow! What a road!!
Been walking for miles and miles and but then I notice that at every point, there is a man dressed in white, so tall and huge with a bright smile, handing me a drink. The first man gave me a drink called faith, the second a drink called determination, the third handed me a drink labelled gumption, the forth called patience, the fifth called boldness and courage and the sixth called focus.
As I progress in my walk, I can see that I have come a long way...suddenly there are no more potholes...

To be continued!

The brevity of life

Sometimes, I can understand why some people don't save. But to the world, they seem stupid and highly unwise.
Save, save, save! Pile up more. Keep them for the rainy day.'

We save our best clothes for a special day when we would get to wear them.
We buy clothes and keep them in our wardrobes for several months, waiting for that wedding invitation.
We save our best shoes for such occasions and some of us have as many as 100 pairs of shoes, but we save 98 for special occasions and wear 1 or 2 every single day till d soles come off.

We have been dying to go to that Chinese restaurant in town, but we plan to go when we have 'enough' money.

Friend, that day may NEVER come. The wedding invitation may come a day too late. All we have is now. Enjoy the life God has given you now.
Appreciate the ones who are dear to you NOW.
Do what you have always wanted to do NOW.
Love like tomorrow will not come, NOW.

Everyday it hits me how short life is. Most who die, never expect death at that time.
Life's lesson today: live, love, breathe, savour every moment, laugh! 'No regrets'......may those be the words I speak on the day I die.

The Hiatus

So I took quite a long break. Didn't mean to stay away for too long.
However, during my period of absence from blogging, so many interesting life changing events took place in my life....like getting married!!!
What a shocker, I know!!!!
I couldn't agree less. Will definitely write all about that.
I certainly have missed writing and I promise not to stay away for too long again.

I went through my notes on facebook and thought I should share them here as well.

Enjoy!!

Passive or Active Dating

I have heard so many opinions on dating. Some are of the view that a lady must be wooed and showing that she has feelings for a man very early in the dating process could spell doom for a potential relationship. Some others believe it is a 2 way thing...the man and woman both make moves. Others say if a lady likes a guy, why not go for it? make that move right now.
Me? What do i think? There are so many rules which basically imply that the man is the active one while the woman is passive. How does this apply to strong women like me? Naturally, i am not the type to wait around for that phone call after a first date, if i liked you, i would call you without thinking so much about who called who first. But i had to tame myself over the years after so many bad experiences.
While i agree that the man should woo the lady, society has made it seem like all the lady does is sit around and wait for some guy to like her enough to want to see her again.
I have often made moves in my dating life and i can say for a fact that no man likes to get it so easy and no, i am not talking just about sex.

Recently, i met a guy at a pharmacy next door to my house. I did not find him particularly attractive, though he was dressed nicely. We struck off a conversation and he later on asked for my number. I refused to give him and he pleaded that i should at least store his and give him a call or send him a text. To that, i agreed. A couple of days later, i sent him a text and he remembered who i was and called instantly very grateful that i stayed in touch. But for some strange reasons, he was always calling when i was too busy to talk and sometimes at midnight and he didnt always call back at the times i said i would be available. So he called recently and expressed how he felt i was not interested in him because i never returned his calls and always sounded busy. At this point, i thought to myself, was i actually supposed to return his calls? Did he think that perhaps contacting him earlier on was me saying i was interested? And if interested, interested in what exactly? if he was interested, wouldnt he try to get to know me by all means? hmmmm...i'l tell you what, 5years ago i might have given him my number at the pharmacy and could have picked his calls at midnight, but now?....it's not happening. What changed? i realized my self worth. no more active dating till i am sure just how much he wants me and how interesting he is...my 2 cents.