I have heard so many opinions on dating. Some are of the view that a lady must be wooed and showing that she has feelings for a man very early in the dating process could spell doom for a potential relationship. Some others believe it is a 2 way thing...the man and woman both make moves. Others say if a lady likes a guy, why not go for it? make that move right now.
Me? What do i think? There are so many rules which basically imply that the man is the active one while the woman is passive. How does this apply to strong women like me? Naturally, i am not the type to wait around for that phone call after a first date, if i liked you, i would call you without thinking so much about who called who first. But i had to tame myself over the years after so many bad experiences.
While i agree that the man should woo the lady, society has made it seem like all the lady does is sit around and wait for some guy to like her enough to want to see her again.
I have often made moves in my dating life and i can say for a fact that no man likes to get it so easy and no, i am not talking just about sex.
Recently, i met a guy at a pharmacy next door to my house. I did not find him particularly attractive, though he was dressed nicely. We struck off a conversation and he later on asked for my number. I refused to give him and he pleaded that i should at least store his and give him a call or send him a text. To that, i agreed. A couple of days later, i sent him a text and he remembered who i was and called instantly very grateful that i stayed in touch. But for some strange reasons, he was always calling when i was too busy to talk and sometimes at midnight and he didnt always call back at the times i said i would be available. So he called recently and expressed how he felt i was not interested in him because i never returned his calls and always sounded busy. At this point, i thought to myself, was i actually supposed to return his calls? Did he think that perhaps contacting him earlier on was me saying i was interested? And if interested, interested in what exactly? if he was interested, wouldnt he try to get to know me by all means? hmmmm...i'l tell you what, 5years ago i might have given him my number at the pharmacy and could have picked his calls at midnight, but now?....it's not happening. What changed? i realized my self worth. no more active dating till i am sure just how much he wants me and how interesting he is...my 2 cents.
